Lanterns: The Smeller is the Feller


The Smeller is the Feller

I came to the United States fleeing communism in Cuba when I was 9 years old. When my grandfather brought me to meet my fourth grade teacher Mrs. Anderson, I did not speak a word of English. My grandfather, who was from Switzerland, spoke seven languages. He told me to pick out a desk and sit while he spoke to her. I imagine that he was probably telling her that my father was a political prisoner in Cuba.

In 1961, schools were not air conditioned, so I went to the row closest to the windows and sat at the last desk. That became my seat for the whole year. Of course, I understood nothing the teacher said, but I lucked out and sat next to a Puerto Rican boy who could speak both English and Spanish. Every once in a while I would hear a word being repeated, and I asked him what it meant. I would then write it in my notebook. This is how I began to learn English.

The boy who sat in front of him was rather stout and not very friendly. One day this young man passed wind. The sound was so loud the teacher stopped talking and the whole class turned to look at him. He immediately pointed his fingers at a skinny kid to his right, who was a bit of a nerd but quite bright and said, “He did it.” 

The nerdy skinny kid turned to him and said, “The smeller is the feller.” And the class erupted in laughter.

I leaned over to my Puerto Rican friend and said, “Que es de smeller is de feller?”

He started laughing and explained to me that usually the guilty party is the first to point fingers to blame others. I thought about that for a moment and decided that this was a particularly accurate insight into our human nature.

Listening to Hillary Clinton and the Democrats pointing fingers at Trump and accusing him of Russian collusion reminded me of that first day I heard, “the smeller is the feller.” I have a feeling that as this FBI informant begins to unravel the multiple nefarious details of the Clinton and Obama cover-up over the Uranium One deal, it is going to stink so bad it will make a skunk smell like perfume.

In fact, the stink fans out to include Robert Mueller, who was then the head of the FBI and knew of the whole thing. Jeff Sessions needs to fire Mueller and get a real independent investigator who will not be in cahoots with Comey, Clinton, Obama, Lynch and Holder, and that includes his assistant, Rosenstein, who was also a part of that hot mess.

No wonder Mueller was chosen to do the investigation. It is all beginning to make sense.

My advice to this new special independent investigator, should Sessions have the guts to appoint him or her, is to don an isolation gown and a self-contained breathing apparatus when he or she begins to dig through the mountain of manure.

Written by Henry Patino

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