It seems I suffer from Traumatic McDonald's Food Cost Syndrome...or T.M.F.C.S.
Each time I go to a McDonald's and pay for the food, I suffer a flashback leaving me sweating and momentarily frozen. (You can interject any fast-food burger joint first initial in the "M" spot.) At this time, it is not considered a qualifying disability, but I am sure once a liberal Congress is in place, it will soon follow.
Once upon a time, after the last Ice Age when I was a kid, it was a special trip to take the long walk to the McDonald's a couple miles away. It didn't seem like a lot of walking because we talked, joked, and laughed the whole way. Once there, I would order a burger, fries, and a Coke and I would actually get change back!
I would innocently tuck the change back into my pocket for getting a candy bar on the way back or for another burger the next day. Then, we would sit on the concrete ledge or sidewalk to enjoy our burgers that were proudly stamped 100% beef and not think anything of it.
Now, as an adult...when I hear $5 and some change charge for 2 burgers, a fry, and a medium-sized Coke...I go into a mild episode leaving me robotically handing my debit card over for the fast slash through a machine to take the money from my account. Then I "drive to the 2nd window" as instructed in broken English through a faceless speaker...like cattle being led off to slaughter.
How do I combat this? I made the decision to be frugal. I ask for no ice in my Coke to get my money's worth.
Sometimes, I pull over and cry out loud in a car with rolled up windows..."What has happened to my burger, fry, and Coke for a $1? Where's my change?" and weep uncontrollably, but manage to stuff my mouth with a burger or a few fries, then sip it down with a bit of Coke.
Am I doomed to repeat this story to my kids, grand-kids, and anyone else that will listen to me? Now, that I have written it down it will be on the Internet forever.
I wonder if there is some sort of therapy treatment to help me with T.M.F.C.S. I must treat this as if I was told I would develop Emphysema if I didn't quit smoking. I need to quit cold turkey....
Until I pass another McDonald's.