In my last article, I told the story about my son and I being hit by a car nine years ago. My body got pretty messed up from it. Since then I have dealt with pain in my ankle, chronic back problems, balance issues, neck pain, and memory problems. I can live with all except the memory problems. That is the hardest one for me. Sometimes in the middle of speaking, I can't remember words. I stop and stammer as I try to remember. For ME, that is bad. I have always been good with words and recall. When you are no longer able to do it, frustration sets in.
I am going to have a test done in a few days. It is called an EEG. It is supposed to see if my brain is having mini seizures; seizures that are so small, I don't even feel them. The doctor told me that CAN cause memory problems. I know that one day my memory problem is going to become full on memory LOSS.
I also have problems sometimes typing things out on my computer keyboard, as anyone who edits my stuff can tell you. That is something new. It has just recently started happening. Sometimes I forget how to spell a word here or there. Sometimes I add letters or omit them. For a writer, that is a bit worrisome.
I tried to look up mini brain seizures. I found nothing about it. All I found was something called TBI or Traumatic Brain Injury. Apparently, TBI has different levels from mild to severe. Some symptoms are: anxiety, low frustration tolerance, ringing in ears, and poor concentration... As I read the symptoms I check off the ones I listed above but, I don't think I have TBI. That is someone else. Isn't it? Maybe not.
The one thing I do know is that no matter what, God is with me. He is the one who helps keep me calm and think through things rationally. Without God, I would lose my mind. WAIT, I already am. Sorry, couldn't resist a little humor there.
We hear all the time about people who came so close to dying. (I came close three times the same day.) And when they come out of a coma, like I did, people think it is wonderful. What they never think about, including me, until now, are the long-term effects, especially with head injuries.
My head bounced off the side of the car a few times. I have a friend who suffered a much worse head injury than I did and he is fine. We all have different responses from head injuries, I guess. I did not write this for pity or for someone to think “ Poor BK.” I wrote it to let people know that through it all, God is with me, and that is what is important here. Whatever HIS will is what will be.
If the tests say I am not having brain seizures, I will be happy, of course. No matter what, I will always be me, and I will always trust in and love God.