Lanterns: Simon Cowell VS Your Resume

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Simon Cowell VS Your Resume

I am completely obsessed with "AGT, BGT, *GT, X-Factor, etc. I can't get enough of the YouTube replays! I'm not alone: As of this morning, Len Ken's compilation of his favorite three from 2017 has 1,641,663 views! I think that's pretty incredible! If you have been watching, you know that Simon Cowell has been dubbed "Dark Lord" and prayed for dancing storm-troopers to break up the monotony of aspiring entertainers that threatened his will to live.

I can relate to him in a minute way since last Wednesday's CFEC Job Fair where I was also a judge on a panel. In my case, the auditions were two-dimensional, mostly black and white, and usually completely unrelated to the positions that were being applied for. Sadly, I doubt they would ever make the stage much less receive the coveted Golden Buzzer. Anyway, I admittedly put on my Simon Cowell impression for the job fair. Since I didn't have a red buzzer "X," I tried to remember that I represent the real Lord, Jesus Christ, in my assessment of the resumes that I viewed that day. However, sometimes mercy seems very unkind as I revealed that most of the resumes I reviewed had little chance of making it into a recruiters inbox and a much less chance of actually inducing an interview.

When I do resume counseling, I assume the role of the recruiter or hiring manager. In this role, I admit three things:

  1. Receiving my consideration is based on getting past ATS, my robot. Trust me, it doesn't have a heart like Dorothy's Tin Man or Simon.
  2. I'm selfish. I don't care an iota what your objective is, and I assume that you want a job that I'm in charge of filling.
  3. I am lazy. I don't read resumes. I scan to see if you have any talent or experience that proves that I may want to call you in for an interview. You have 2.8 seconds to get my attention: GO!

My approach is "Be cruel to be kind." So, after I explain the reality that I may never see, read, or respond to a particular resume, I explain how to get past my harsh exterior and actually have a chance to audition for the position in an interview. Here are my secrets:

  • Tell me the job that you're applying for. It's a keyword that my ATS must have.
  • Use a bullet list to respond to the job description. The job description isn't just a list of duties, not to me! It is a list of my problems and only a very specific applicant, hopefully, you, can solve my problems.
  • Use the PAR system: For each requirement, explain an action that you took to solve a similar dilemma, and impress me by sharing your unique solution.
  • Quantify your successes utilizing the Peanut Butter Principal. It may not sound like a genius plan, but it will get my attention! Learn all about it in 40 Minute Power Resume by Beverly Hill.
  • Since you've already impressed me with your past success and proven readiness to relieve my immediate hiring headache, share your job history without adding the full job description for each position. We want to keep this resume down to one or two pages.
  • Include the URL or a link to your LinkedIn profile with your contact information: Yes, you need one. At the job fair, I shared that in the app that I use to locate candidates, there is a shortcut available for finding members with a particular job title in a particular area of the country via LinkedIn. Obviously, if I find you first, I'm much more likely to call you in for that interview, so why merely hope that your resume will get my attention when your career can be launched from the professional's version of America's Got Talent?

That's all I have for today, friend. I pray that you will be contacted for that audition and achieve the golden buzzer-- "You're hired!"

Written by Christine Hammett

Chris Hammett is a contributing writer for the Common Sense Constitutional Conservatives Media Group.

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